This articles will be of interest to adoptive parents who are thinking about taking a trip to the child’s country of origin. Interviewer: Do you think all children should go back to China to visit their orphanage? Child: (long pause) They need to be brave. I think that only kids that are ready should go to see their orphanage and their finding place. And I think that kids that are not ready should not. There are ready kids and not ready kids. Every year hundreds of adopted Chinese children and their families are taking heritage trips to China. For example, one small travel company specializing in return trips to China reported organizing tours for four families in 2004 and 42 families in 2007. The numbers continue to grow. Many adoptive parents feel that such a trip is crucial for their child’s emotional development. These heritage trips often involve a tour of Chinese landmarks (such as the Great Wall and the Terracotta Warriors), a visit to the child’s orphanage and sometimes to the child’s finding place. To date there is no research examining this emerging phenomenon. Consequently, the field of child development has little knowledge about the outcomes of these experiences.

For this reason, myself and my colleagues thought that an in-depth study of this experience would be invaluable. Our study examines the experiences of five families with adopted Chinese children between the ages of 8-13 who embarked on such a journey between 2005 and 2007. Both qualitative data (filming and field notes) and quantitative data (parent and child interview findings) were collected. Parents and children completed semi-structured interviews during three phases: before, during and after the trip. Interview questions focused on parent and children’s preparations, reasoning for taking the trip, experiences while on it, and subsequent outcomes. While the trips that families take tend to vary quite a bit, this study focuses specifically on the experiences of families who made the decision to visit their child’s home province, orphanage and finding location. This short article will give summary findings from this study. Due to the intensity and privacy of this topic it is important to note that all families that participated in this study have also participated for the past six years in a Chinese cultural group that I lead for adopted children and their parents. My close relationship with both the children and parents made this research study possible, for which I am eternally grateful. In order to maintain privacy, no names will be disclosed in this article. Findings Before the Trip Child Comments For many of the children, the interview before leaving for China raised issues they had not yet considered. Interviewed several months previous to the trip, many of the girls said, “Oh that is so far away—I haven’t really thought about it.” However, with some thoughtful questioning, the children had a lot to share. When asked why they were taking the trip, all of the children commented on reconnecting to their life as a baby. For example, one child explained, “It’s going to feel good going back, because then I will get to see all of the places I’ve been in…when I was still a baby.” Another child explained, “I am going to see my orphanage and the nanny that took care of me.” In addition to these comments, the children also noted their excitement to travel to a new place. One child exclaimed, “I am going to go shopping and eat new foods!” When the children were asked about their concerns, the majority of the comments addressed the issue of travel. One child noted, “I am not really looking forward to one-hundred airplanes.” Another explained, “I know my moms are packing a lot of medicine in case I get sick.” One of the most interesting findings from this interview set was that the children had many expectations of what their parents would learn: all of the children noted that the trip to China would not only be a learning experience for them but also for their parents. One child thoughtfully explained, “My mom needs to learn a lot about China. Last time we were there to get my sister she didn’t know to bundle us up. We went into a store and all of these ladies were pinching me saying, ‘Why are you, why is your child not wearing enough clothes?’ My mom didn’t know that Chinese people do that. She is going to learn a lot.” Children also commented that parents were going to have to attempt to speak Chinese. Parent Comments Before their departure, parents clearly explained that their major reason for taking the trip was deeply rooted in establishing a “sense of belonging” for their children and an opportunity for children to “experience their life pre-adoption.” One parent clearly explained, “I just want my daughter to have a concrete sense of China--a real one—not just from books.” For some families the emphasis was placed more on “experiencing China”, while for others the goal was to learn “more information about the child’s origins.” Like the children, parents also expressed some concerns about the trip. For parents the common phrase was “unpredictable occurrences,” which referred to situations over which they would have no control such as illness, transportation problems, language issues and challenges gaining access to orphanage files. However, the most frequent concern expressed by parents was that their children would be disappointed, indicating how much parents wanted the trip to China to be a positive experience. Despite these concerns, all of the parents were excited and looked forward to their journey. Almost all of the parents interviewed in this study felt that preparation for the trip was important, while only one parent expressed any uncertainty. When asked how they prepared their children, the most frequent response was the use of discussions and external consultants (therapists, playgroup leaders and teachers). Another common response was reviewing photos taken at the time of adoption with children as well as raising issues in adoption support groups. During the Trip Child Comments In China one of the most drastic shifts in the children’s responses was their feelings towards visiting China. Pre-departure all of the children indicated that they felt positive emotions regarding their trip. However, during the trip itself, the majority of the children indicated that they were experiencing mixed feelings. The children implied that this emotional shift was due to visiting their orphanage and, in particular, their finding place. While all of the children indicated that their visit to the orphanage was positive, they also pointed out the existence of other—sometimes conflicting—feelings. After visiting the site of her old orphanage, which had been demolished in recent years, one child explained, “When I was going to the place where I was found it didn’t look like what I had expected, so it felt kind of strange. I guess I expected it to be the same, more building (sp) to be there. But it wasn’t. I just thought there would be more left of my orphanage.” When asked about her orphanage experience, another child explained, “I don’t know. Maybe I am angry. Like somewhere deep inside and I just don’t know it. I just don’t really know.” Although the orphanage experience was challenging, many of the children indicated that they would like to return again in the future. In terms of the finding place, on the other hand, children indicated that they were not sure about returning for a second time. One child noted an uncomfortable feeling of being watched and in the public eye when she visited her finding place. She said, “I felt like everyone was watching me-- that they would tell somebody else and they would all go there [the finding place] and then there would be even more people looking at me.” One of the most complicated emotional situations faced on these trips occurred for a two-mom family. Upon much discussion and reflection, the parents decided that it would be best if only the one who filed the original adoption papers would step forward at the orphanage as the sole parent. This decision was extremely complex for the child, who was eight at the time, to fully comprehend. She explained, “I felt bad there because mama didn't get to be in a lot of pictures. Well, she is often never in a lot of pictures because she takes them. But she REALLY wasn't in a lot of pictures…the people taking care of me know that mommy [her other mother] was my mom. She is the one that signed the papers. That is what they know.“ While the orphanage and finding place visits were emotionally challenging, the children also frequently spoke about how much fun the trip was as well. The children enjoyed seeing cultural landmarks, shopping and having adventures with friends. One child commented, “We saw so many interesting things. We got to go to the Great Wall, go on this huge slide, go swimming and eat lots of breakfast.” Parent Comments: Most of the parents explained that the trip was “more wonderful than they could have ever expected.” The parents noted a feeling of connection and renewed understanding of China. Much like the children, parents also expressed a mixture of feelings when reflecting on their experience at the orphanage and the finding place. However, the parents’ comments generally tended to be much more positive than the children’s. Some parents noted that they had gained a “deeper connection to their child’s beginnings and a new understanding of their early childhood.” Parents were also aware of their children’s complex emotions when visiting the orphanage and finding place. A few parents mentioned that the children were experiencing a “depth of feelings that they were not able to express.” After the Trip Child Comments During this interview children explained that while the trip did provide answers about their birth culture and personal history, it still left them with many questions. All of the children expressed a new-found awareness and understanding of China and what it means to be Chinese. Many of the girls were eager to share their travel experiences with friends, while they were more private about the orphanage and finding place visit. One child explained, “Sometimes I feel like it is okay, but sometimes I don’t talk about my orphanage. It is private. Maybe I would tell them what it looks like, but I might not tell them what I did and how it exactly was.” When asked the question, “Do you think that all children adopted from China should visit their orphanage?”, many of the children gave thoughtful and interesting responses. While some children felt that the visit to the orphanage was important, others cautioned about the emotional aspects of the trip. One child explained, “You have to be brave. Tell them they have to be brave,” while another said, “Yes, they should go. I had a bunch of questions. We were wondering if we were born in the same crib—or in a whole different place. We got answers.” Even though children tended to feel that the visit to their finding place and orphanage was challenging, many explained how important it was for them to see the reality of where they are from. One child commented, “I wanted to see what it looked like, what is used to look like, because it [the orphanage] might not be there anymore. That way I would know how to go back, how to get there.” Overall the children expressed feeling a sense of unity and belonging with the Chinese people. Many children commented on how good it made them feel that everyone in China looked like them. Throughout the after China interview, while reflecting on their trip, all of the children commented on the necessity of preparation. As one child explained, “Getting ready is really important, it makes the whole thing less scary.” Another child commented, “Before I even got to China I knew how to use a squat toilet. We practiced at home so the whole family was ready.” Parent Comments Many of the parents reported noticing a major adjustment in their child’s behavior and emotions after the trip. Three of the families referred to this change as “closure.” They felt that because their child had been able to see where they were originally from with their own eyes, this helped them to resolve issues and move forward. One parent thought that taking her daughter to visit her orphanage was crucial for her child’s healthy emotional development, advising other parents, “Remove the mystery! Don’t make it more glamorous than it actually is, don’t make it mysterious, because it’s either going to be now or then and the more real we are now, the more truthful we can be now, hopefully the less angry our kids will be later.” Another important trend we found was that most of the parents agreed that pre-departure preparation for themselves and their children was crucial. These included a variety of things, such as thinking about how to use squat-toilets, handling difficult situations with curious Chinese people, negotiating social situations, traveling, handling food, and preparing luggage. One parent explained, “I think it’s important to get your kid interested in the parts that are different and not make them weird-different, you know what I mean? We did talk to them a bit about poverty and homelessness. I think it’s important to talk to them that they were going to see that, and that it might look different from home.” Lastly, parents also stressed the importance of their children’s exposure to Chinese culture. “They feel connected now, and because of that they are changed, we are changed, our family has changed. They don’t need to pretend that they know [about China] because they have been there.” Concluding Thoughts The interviews with parents and children were extremely powerful. One important point for all families to consider and bear in mind is that each individual experiences returning to China differently. Many parents experienced joy and felt that the trip increased family intimacy. All parents also noted how they felt their children went at the “right” age – around the 8 to 11 years age range – “I think their developmental age, it was just the right time for them.” For the children, their experiences tended to focus more on the challenging moments and difficult emotions that they felt. In sum, all children have different personalities, level of maturity and emotional needs, so parents are the best people to decide if these kinds of return trips are suitable for their families. However, what this study has shown is that if the family does make the decision to return to China, preparation is key. Discussions about what to expect, potential challenges along the way, exposure to what the orphanage and finding place will be like and open conversations about everyone’s hopes and fears are integral to ensuring a positive experience for the entire family. Iris Chin Ponte Ph.D., Department of Child Development, Tufts University Leslie Wang Ph.D. Candidate in Sociology, University of California, Berkeley Serena Fan, B.A., Department of Child Development, Tufts University